Religion has been integrated deep into our Western roots and history, especially Christianity. In today’s society, those Christian roots still have a strong hold, but times are changing and religion is becoming more diverse. Some people fall from their religion, some have their faith strengthened, and some people find a faith that completes them.

One student here in Broomfield High, Rowan (11), has been torn between religion and science. They were raised in a strong Christian household and prayed every night. Rowan loved their religion: “It was my lifestyle. I was in love with all of it and it was like my happy place in a way.” Rowan admits growing up in a strong Christian household was strict, especially when it came to things pertaining to the occult or the devil. They were not allowed to be exposed to those kinds of things or get near what their parents labeled as evil. Fortunately, Rowan was allowed to celebrate Halloween (up until recently due to their parents believing Halloween to be a devil’s holiday and wanting to protect their family). Up until 6th grade, Rowan was devout in their spiritual path and loved every inch of their religion.

At the start of their middle school career, Rowan dove deeper into science and their whole view on their religion changed. Rowan said many things didn’t match up between their religion and the new things they were learning. For most of their years in middle school, Rowan spent time trying to fit religion and science together: “I questioned the same thing, how it was scientifically possible for a God to exist. And back then, I spent a lot of time trying to fit my religion in with science.” In recent years though, Rowan has calmed their questions and sees the relationship between science and relationship differently: “I don’t see them as opposite sides of the spectrum, I believe both but I’m not sure about my religion anymore because my perspectives have changed,” said Rowan.

With the passing of each year, Rowan still debates on leaving their religion, they don’t think they will fully fall from Christianity, but Rowan says, “I won’t fully see the ‘magic’ in it as I did when I was younger.” Rowan feels the religion is too controlling, hateful, and homophobic for them, they feel they don’t fit in. Despite these feelings of being left out, Rowan said, “I’m trying to fit in more into my religion and start believing it more by reading the Bible and by praying more, but sometimes it feels like I have to so my family doesn’t end up thinking badly of me.” Rowan still loves science and wants a future in it and has it at their side as a fun hobby. Science makes them happy. Torn between what they love and what they feel obligated to, Rowan isn’t sure what the future has in store for them. What Rowan wants as of now is to still have Christianity active in their life and having a career in biology. They live their day to day life as anyone else; though they push their issues and questions aside, Rowan hopes to fully confront and deal with their thoughts and feelings on Christianity.

Rowan knows they are not the only ones living torn between wanting to believe and living in doubt, and they have a message: “Don’t give into the pressure of family and take your own journey to find your answer. No matter what happens in the end, none of your value as a person is gone.”

In all the years we live, everyone is on a constant journey, a winding and confusing path. People find religion, people lose it, but no matter where someone is on their path, it is special and belongs to them.