The shadow lurking on our back, creeping into our minds as we degrade ourselves to the lowest of the lows. We feel heavy and sorrowful. Our minds are dark with emotions as we think about everyone but ourselves; minds clouded with anger and sadness about the things other people do. It is the voice eating us from the inside out – the monster that lives in us all and consumes some to the point of no return.

Depression: Something that builds up into our minds and controls our very being. It latches to us. A virus of our own doing. It elevates our emotions and makes us feel the absolute worse about ourselves. The funny thing is, we see ourselves as emotionless when emotions are all we have.

So how do we stop it? The answer; You have to stop it. you have to climb that mental ladder you set for yourself and overcome those weights that are bringing you down. Some people have the gifted ability to do it themself; to climb the barrier on their own while others find it hard to do it even with the support of others.

It is something that no one wants to talk about- the pit of your feelings that we have learned to keep deep inside of us. It is something we do not open up to. It is sadness, but it is the sadness we create for ourselves.

Speaking about your personal experience with depression is hard. It is harder than we think it is because we are letting someone in. It scares us to let someone know our deepest fears; the fear of ourselves.

“It’s like trying to swim but your feet are chained to the floor. It’s like screaming through a megaphone but no one turns to look your way,”

“…You’re drowning under water and no one can see you dying. like walking in quicksand and all you do is sink. like falling into a black hole and not knowing which way is out.”

It is the walking without a purpose, the heaviness of your feet against a solid surface. The banging voices drowning our thoughts, tearing ourselves apart. Are we good enough? Will we ever be good enough? Is it worth it? Am I worth it? Does anyone understand me? Can anyone hear me? Can they see me? Even if I say nothing do they know? It is a paranoia, it is a drug we cannot let go of, in fear of losing everything because depression is all we have.

It is the thinking and not speaking. Wanting to speak, but fearing what you might say.

Speak for yourself, tell yourself you are good enough, because you are. You are you. Embrace it. Accept it. You cannot change you. You should not change you. You just have to change your mindset. As said by BHS student Connor Jensen, “I have happier things to think about.” So think about the positive. It is all in your head. Get through it and show people you can get through it. Climb that stupid ladder that is in your way. Get over that ladder and then destroy it. Do not go back. Do not fall back in that pit where you were not yourself. You can do it. We believe in you.

Don’t Hide.